Saturday, December 5, 2009

How Indian is the business of ass-kissing??

“This is the question about the most followed ancient trends in the service industry, sycophancy. I can guess that the trend of bootlick would have originated from the time of kings and emperors. When the poetic dedications in praise of the kings gave monetary and status benefits.

No longer has this been realized, the golden rule is written in the books of easy success, “Fawn the boss”.

My analysis would say that the F trick is not of Indian origin but inspired from the west again. Unlike in the west, because of certain cultural constraints in our country we have slightly modified the F trick.

Otherwise, Fuck and Fawn are quite similar in their final outcomes with just the different flowcharts.

I had planned an observation week to track down the rules to grab the boss’ flick and in a way defining the Indian ‘F’ trick-

First rule; never try to show smart in front of your boss. Remember you are a dumb-ass and will always be, when he is around.

Second rule; since you have now accepted you are an ass, act like one. Ask the boss for every stupid hitch in the work I know you might be capable of sorting the issue but forget as this violates the rules.

Third rule; the only way to gain credit is giving it all. Praise your boss for everything, even for the things you did. If he is modest, he will give you yours back.

Fourth rule; never ever show your thunder on his face. The glitches are better in the deepest chest; never let them out for your own good.

Last rule, all the rules above follow the “*conditions apply” clause. If your boss is a type ‘A’ who expects and rewards sycophancy, give him to the brim till you are servile but make sure that you kick his ass before breaking the cage. On the other hand, a type ‘B’ boss is worth a hundred job switches; never leave him without sharing a toast.

I understand Indian algorithm to F trick is quite time consuming and dangerous but it promises the returns for a longer period, infact till the management changes :)

Whereas, the western trick is a repetitive effort for bigger gains in smaller time frames.

Wherever you go or whatever you do, when there is a top, there will always be an easier ladder to climb up. Though I am not so expert at the toady way of getting the things done, but definitely patient enough to wait for the ladder to break off the summit.

Oops! I can hear the twang in the ladder; I think the ladder is also fed up of the overcrowded steps.

The crowd is a step ahead, but I am happy, disparaging, climbing and still twinging my rope, proudly portraying the original Indian values and with no F tricks written on the good books yet…

Half way to go Girl!



  1. haha!! funny and you said it.
    they should have a management subject on this survival art, complete with FAQ and Quick Guide Ref.

  2. cool post

    Thanks a lot for taking time to go through my blog. In one way or other you have encouraged me to keep on blogging.
    Thanks a lot!


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