What should I do...Grrrrrrrrrr?

I had a wonderful life. Waking up on door bell’s discretion, starting the day with my fav daily soap, surfing, blogging, chatting, mongering, eating, experimenting...But lately something happened and it sucks to have this wonderful life!

It started with a call from Jo (my best GF) that they were planning to meet our old training friends as some of them were moving out of Hyderabad for greener pastures.

I was pretty excited about the idea except for the thing the meeting was planned on Sunday..WEEKEND. Weekends usually leave me in fix and I hate deciding between my spending time with husband and friends.

So, I set up a rule, that I will spend one day with him and could spare the other with friends. The day was going well, till he got a call from his friends and he went for his session which they address as “Baithte hain aaj phir?”

I spent around two hours watching television, one hour surfing and rest two hours chatting. I was totally bugged of TPing and was swooped in my vodka glasses when he entered. And as an expected reaction of his, I was an object to be pitied. Obviously, lone drinkers are to be pitied (that’s what he used to tell me, when I bragged him for not visiting his buddies every weekend!). [I bounced back]

The trauma of the last night was reflective in the next day too.

Sunday, I completed my wifely vows of cooking and cleaning and left for the reunion with old mates. It was raining heavily, but since I was determined to go, not because I was dying to; but my devilish thoughts overpowered my senses and I stood on taking a revenge on my husband.

I caught an auto and reached the old lanes of Sindhi colony. I used to stay there when I was a newbie in the city. I really want to cut down the days and memories spent there. As I find them the most lonely and wasteful. Anyways,

I reached the friends place, was welcomed on a note which was much chillier for Jo than for me. As one of the guys was working with her earlier, so it was an obvious excitement. But somehow, it got freaky and obsessive, actually can’t blame him, it really depends on how expressive you are!

But, the point is I still felt the pinch of hesitation from them, might be because of my marital status. Burrrrrrrrrr…I really had something which was boxing me hard inside to say something. But in vain, the conversation and obsessive-ness was on and on and on. Hats off to JO! She really amazes me sometimes by her capability of handling freakiness so easily. She finishes her sentence and it goes in my mind “---With Love, Jo”. She is too sweet to be ignored actually. They discussed technology, work, friends, CAT, MAT, GMAT ete etc etc…burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. And I discussed “ “.

I had nothing to discuss frankly. [Grrrrrrr why me!! ]

During the course, I had my husband hovering at the back of my mind. I realized that I have become over possessive and docile about my marriage. I feel nauseated, if there is any incongruity between us.

Till I accepted the fact that I am a difficult nut now, no words will fruit out from my useless mouth, which is just good for cribbing than adding some substance.

By God’s Grace, another friend of ours joined, Arun. I had met him around one year back when he came to see off her GF to office. These committed crowds are always hibernated in their commitment phase. As we talked, I found he has developed an amazing sense of humor in this one year time and it took no time for me to derive, he is out of the hibernation now. I feel sad, when I see many of my old friends had the devdas phase after training. But they came up to be amazing people later on. We talked about almost all of our batch mates and the doomed crushes during the training period.

I felt above all those crushes and breakup stuff. I take myself not less than Lady Alexander; as if I have won a quila after marriage.

Whatever, I had a good time there and I left for another challenge back home.

I had to pep up my dear husband who was inflicted by my weirdo vodka-affected- attitude, for no fault of his of course!

Later, I reached home with a rose in my bag. But unfortunately, I am not so good at it actually, so the weapon failed because of a bad usage.

Ultimately, as usual I broke down and blithered, blithered and blithered and SILENCE!!!

He understood my tormented mind. I was back smiling in his life again :))

Then, later post dinner we had our friend and boss with his better half at our place.

Just for some lighter time after a heavy dinner, my husband tickled my mood by mocking on my career aspirations and stuff. I had once said, I want to do something which is one in lacs if not billions. It is very stupid for a B.Tech-IT professional to say that though, because the loop in his life goes endless with every thought of getting out of that buggy coding work. Why not! I thought, I am actually doing something one in millions – when everybody around me is talking cats and dogs, I am not even talking…[ I bounced again]

After, the guests left, we just took a small stroll around our building at 11:30...oops! True—I have really stopped thinking even. I was lost in thinking about my one in million works, that my school friend came. He had two special things today-a new switch and his IIM status that will always be.

He gave me his card and left.

He left but his card spiked me. It said “Mr. Khetan, COO Alumuns IIM, Ahmedabad”.

Oh Good God! Wasn’t the day enough to pump me; that this came...?

My junk memory thought what would I write if I happen get such cards printed—“Mrs. Matkar, Consultant...Burrrrrrr...Engineer...Burr whatever, Alumnus MIT “... :)) MIT stands for not Massachusetts but Mahila hehehe.

Not Funny..Not Funny Garima, I thought. I retorted to my husband, what the heck ‘m I doing with my life..watching TV and cooking is that all???

Frustations gets you speak these things, but the problem was, I wasn’t so serious; when I said that…but some one really was!!

Next morning on my normal routine, I was enjoying my daily soaps “Mile jab hum tum…” ...”Love ne mila di jodi...” till he stepped in and switched off the TV. Oops! Twist in my story…He reminded me of my frustrations yesterday night. I was stoned.

He left and I started thinking, what is that one in million I want to do..is it

journalism..management..writing..Teaching…what what what burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I picked up a paper, but surprisingly not hyd times but edu times.

The first word I saw was Why Management? Oops! The notice was out today for CAT-2009. I really felt I discovered something today morning apart from the new releases and bollywood gossips. [I bounced badly]

I called up Jo, as she had been a CAT aspirant and blithered out my frustrations.

She as always gave me a promising reply and asked to think on what am I interested in? Whatever I say and it can be done in 10 lakhs.

Business investment decision hai kya, I thought.

I have developed a belief on signs today morning after the newspaper incident. Signs help at times when nothing helps...

My electric insect catcher sense dominated and I started for catching signs—

I boarded my cab and started for office—

“Loans upto 10 lakhs –Contact Mr. Shetty for more details” read on an advertisement on the yellow auto ran passed my cab.

My thoughts bounced back to my discussion with the Cat aspirant Jo, she said something about career in 10 lakhs..

[Its working. Is it?]

I crossed Madhapur..and turned to left side of road and saw “ T.I.M.E institute for CAT,GMAT bla blah”. Oh my God... I never saw this before, has this recently been opened. Education is for sale! , I thought.

[ It is actually working! Pinch me ]

“Wipro Applying thoughts” made me stronger on my newly found belief.

I was heading to my office that I saw ISB—ISB—ISB written on so many electric poles and till the time I landed in front of my building and looked up. It said “SATYAM- What business Demands”.

Business to pata nhn...I had to go back to my business for another 9 hours of the day.

But I didn’t lose my stand....’’m still open to Signs...Oops....’’m (mistakenly typed) reminds me of ''m—IIM...

[Is it working still…?]